Homecoming

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Adjustment to Home

One of the things the orphanage taught me was that whatever behaviors Josie has, there is a reason for them.


*She stuffs food in her face until she cannot chew it, let alone swallow. Then it all comes out.
*She screams when a child touches her and pushes away.
*She collapses into a puddle and cries out whenever displeased.
*She runs full force and collapses into us with no regard for her safety or ours.
*A friend of hers would growl and grunt in bizarre ways when not happy.

-They told me "when her bowl is empty, show it to her or she'll cry." She'd never been fed until she was full. (I took a picture of a young girl for her coming-soon American mom. She would not put down her bowl for the picture even with great coaxing from the nannies. I took several pictures with the bowl at her mouth, it contained a bit of broth she'd not yet finished.)
-She's territorial and must defend her space.
-Chinese people pay attention to the crying baby (even complete strangers help if the child cries).
-There's a good chance the nanny will catch you if you'll be hurt otherwise.
-This last one was the most shocking for me and thankfully, one Josie uses the least.



It has been very difficult for me to deal with the constant fits. We tried comforting and ignoring. Now we just say "no" "up" and lift her back to her feet. But we have to do this continually: if we say no, if she sees the dog, if Michael or Chloe touch her, if I am requiring her to feed herself the fingerfood, if it is time for bed, etc. But it is getting better. She slept through the night last night. She used her fork at lunch as long as I loaded it. She is saying at least one new English word a day.

Chloe and Michael are doing well with her. Chris reminds me she is cute and will become more and more the child God intends her to be. I'm still in the "Why did we do this? We were really happy with two children" mode, but know my adjustment will come around as well. We know the truth: she is a beautiful creation, she was meant for our family, I was meant to be her Mom, and God will give me all I need to love her day by day. Soon it will come as naturally as breathing and yet surprise me with its strength. I have seen glimpses. I have experienced it twice before. And I am all the more grateful for a God who took me when I was a wreck and continues to love me through my fits, knowing I am not what I will be through His love and care.


The below pictures are of our first meeting.

Later, when asked what the orphanage wanted Josie to know in the future, the nanny said, that "she is usually afraid of strangers, but she went right to you; you were meant to be her mom." Now, maybe she was talking about the first second, because, as you can see, this was not a child who was happy the second second! Perhaps it was a standard line. But I also asked what they liked most about Josie. First they said, "she's smart," but they quickly changed it to "her smile."

or the third second!

Ah, but thanks to Mr. Scott and Grandpa Riddle, we were prepared with fruit chews!

Josie thinking, "you look really weird."

Here we are introducing her to her big sister and brother.
Her Half-the-Sky grandmother is there: the person she was closest to in all the world.