Attachment Issues

The following is a little story about hope, adoption, and the ability to learn to love.

I am About to Cry

By Christina S.

I am an adoptive mother of a beautiful 8-year old girl. My daughter had bounced around in 5 different foster homes before she was 5 years old. Some of the professionals expressed concerns that she may not be able to fully attach to us given all the moves and trauma she experienced. However, we found that over time, with patience, love, and consistency, she learned to trust us more and definitely learn to attach to us. We saw this especially after she experienced adoption milestones (e.g. at 18 months when she had lived with us longer than she had lived with any other family).

Well, one morning, I surprised her with a little gift. I framed a large postcard she liked that had a picture of a cute dog (the one that the Post Office has on their "pets" stamps) and set it out for her to see when she came down for breakfast. She was so overwhelmed by this small gesture of love - I think she was moved that I really paid attention to what is important to her - that she covered her face with her hands and kept repeating quietly, "I don't believe it… I don't believe it." She then sat down and wrote me this poem:

"The time has come
It has opened my heart
Sweet of all I love
Rose mine
I am about to cry
I love you."

Written by Sharonda S., age 7 to her mom.

She writes "I am about to cry." I have the same reaction every time I read this poem. I hope that other adoptive parents of older children will feel encouraged by this poem, to know that children can heal, and that they are definitely key in helping their children to heal.

Pre-Approval

CCAI called us today to let us know we have pre-approval. I wish this were a sign that travel approval is just around the corner, but really it just means they've received our information requesting to be allowed to adopt Cao An Hong and they don't see a problem with that. We also sent our documents to the Chinese Consulate today for authentification and we sent a care package to Josie. The care package will also serve as notice to the orphanage staff that Josie has a family! It should arrive in a week. We put in a baby album of pictures of us with the Chinese characters for mother, father, big sister, big brother, and our dog. It also included a disposable camera, clothes, candy for the nannies, a little outfit, a book, and a bunny. But mainly I hope they use the picture album so she won't be in total shock when she sees us-blonde hair and all. Tomorrow is her birthday! Great-Grandma Hazel sent us a card ( :