"I can't believe she's really here!"-Chloe

Dancing to Cedarmont Kids

(I think this is how Chloe learned English!)

Adjustment to Home

One of the things the orphanage taught me was that whatever behaviors Josie has, there is a reason for them.


*She stuffs food in her face until she cannot chew it, let alone swallow. Then it all comes out.
*She screams when a child touches her and pushes away.
*She collapses into a puddle and cries out whenever displeased.
*She runs full force and collapses into us with no regard for her safety or ours.
*A friend of hers would growl and grunt in bizarre ways when not happy.

-They told me "when her bowl is empty, show it to her or she'll cry." She'd never been fed until she was full. (I took a picture of a young girl for her coming-soon American mom. She would not put down her bowl for the picture even with great coaxing from the nannies. I took several pictures with the bowl at her mouth, it contained a bit of broth she'd not yet finished.)
-She's territorial and must defend her space.
-Chinese people pay attention to the crying baby (even complete strangers help if the child cries).
-There's a good chance the nanny will catch you if you'll be hurt otherwise.
-This last one was the most shocking for me and thankfully, one Josie uses the least.



It has been very difficult for me to deal with the constant fits. We tried comforting and ignoring. Now we just say "no" "up" and lift her back to her feet. But we have to do this continually: if we say no, if she sees the dog, if Michael or Chloe touch her, if I am requiring her to feed herself the fingerfood, if it is time for bed, etc. But it is getting better. She slept through the night last night. She used her fork at lunch as long as I loaded it. She is saying at least one new English word a day.

Chloe and Michael are doing well with her. Chris reminds me she is cute and will become more and more the child God intends her to be. I'm still in the "Why did we do this? We were really happy with two children" mode, but know my adjustment will come around as well. We know the truth: she is a beautiful creation, she was meant for our family, I was meant to be her Mom, and God will give me all I need to love her day by day. Soon it will come as naturally as breathing and yet surprise me with its strength. I have seen glimpses. I have experienced it twice before. And I am all the more grateful for a God who took me when I was a wreck and continues to love me through my fits, knowing I am not what I will be through His love and care.


The below pictures are of our first meeting.

Later, when asked what the orphanage wanted Josie to know in the future, the nanny said, that "she is usually afraid of strangers, but she went right to you; you were meant to be her mom." Now, maybe she was talking about the first second, because, as you can see, this was not a child who was happy the second second! Perhaps it was a standard line. But I also asked what they liked most about Josie. First they said, "she's smart," but they quickly changed it to "her smile."

or the third second!

Ah, but thanks to Mr. Scott and Grandpa Riddle, we were prepared with fruit chews!

Josie thinking, "you look really weird."

Here we are introducing her to her big sister and brother.

Her Half-the-Sky grandmother is there: the person she was closest to in all the world.

Orphans

This little one has a family! You can tell by the collection of items under her crib which came in a care package. Josie received something similar from us.

When our group saw the number of babies in their cribs (and we just visited one floor), someone asked when their paperwork would be done (ie-why do we have to wait so long?) The interpreter told us they had to wait to see which ones could be adopted (ie. strong enough to survive; adoptable through the typical program; or with special needs, but of the variety Americans would still adopt). Lying in the corner of the room, closest to us was a baby with an eye infection. The cellulitis (red, inflammation of tissue) was extensive: at least an inch all the way around the eye socket. I wondered if she would loose her sight. I thought of my antibiotics back in my bag at the hotel room. I thought of the eye doctor from my church who'd have that baby healthy in no time. I wondered if she would be a survivor. I wanted to go in and pick her up and pray over her. I just took a picture and walked to the next room.

I belive this is the one, right in the corner. But I'm not positive-there were several rooms just like this.

More Pictures: Beijing

Beijing was our first stop and looking back, taught us the most about China. This was mainly because of our guide. She ran a narrative the entire time we were with her. For instance, at Tienneman Square she informed us the Chinese people are forbidden to talk about what happened there and she does not know herself. She wasn't asking us for information, just stating she didn't know and couldn't find out. The image of that tank rolling over an unarmed person standing in silent protest was one of my earliest images of China and remains a vivid picture of our deep need for freedom and the ability to find Truth. She also spoke of Hong Kong and Taiwan along Community Party lines and I realized (I don't know why I was suprised) this was all she'd ever heard. She had no idea this was a point of contention with the Western world or that those rooms held for them in the builing behind us would remain empty if the said inhabitants had their way. None from our group told her anything different; there was no opening, no desire to know.

This is one of the stadiums being built for the 2008 Olympics. She told us there were three things the Olympic Committee wanted Beijing to address: 1) the pollution, 2) the traffic, and 3) supplying enough English translators. We found the way these were being addressed very interesting. Several companies who produce the most pollution were relocated to different parts of China, with the government footing the bill. I cannot imagine the cost of this, and wonder what the same money applied to green technology would have done. But they just moved the problem. Greenery was then brought in. Everywhere were new trees and shrubs, freshly planted. Our guide told us the Beijing people were most excited about this as their city was much more beautiful now. Lastly, the government began counting the "blue skies." Everyday that some patch of blue sky was visable, it was a blue sky day. Indeed, we saw some! Our guide hadn't seen any before these changes were made, it was always grey. Still, it was notibly polluted to us and several of us experienced sore throats while we were there from the pollution. #2 Traffic. A new mass transit system is being installed at great cost. But our guide is 100% confident the Beijing people will not use it after the Olympics. She said they would not want to be crowded together when they could drive. Also, she said the government will just tell the people to drive on X days if they had an even tag and on Y days if an odd tag. She thought the Chinese were very clever and could come up with out of the Western box solutions. And even though she'd told us in numerous ways that the Chinese people consider laws to be suggestions and are really in it for themselves, she told us here that they would put country above themselves. #3 English translators: she thought this bizarre since every student is taught English and they have billions of people. The taxi drivers are having mandatory English lessons to keep their licenses, but she says they are quite resentful of this.

And three other tidbits: 1) She believes the USA will not permit Chinese people entry as tourists! She thinks this a grave economic mistake on the part of America, since they have money to spend. No one told her that it is China who limits this, not the US! 2) She counts it odd the Americans believe in God (the majority of the Americans she interacts with are adopting and are Christian). She said her parents' generation worshipped Buddha, but only when she had a test they wanted her to pass. Now, our group thought that sounded like a lot of nominal Christians in the US, so we have that in common! But she said her generation (she is 25) does not rely on a god, they rely on themselves. For me, this explained a lot of the little cultural differences I'd been experiencing: the Chinese do not form lines, it's cut and shove and every man for himself; the distain for the disabled; the incredulous looks and questions at why we'd want more than one child (they cost $ to raise) or why we'd take one who had a disability. But she also said that after being around us "crazy Americans" for two years she'd decided to have a child. Before she didn't want to because she likes her $ too much. Now she thinks she will since her mother-in-law would help care for him/her. But she and her husband are dragon and tiger. This year's pig wouldn't be a good match, maybe next year.