She knows she's cute! And she's starting to realize she's loved. We are seeing loads of smiles, getting lots of sweet kisses, and she's beginning to be comfortable being held and cuddled. In fact, she is now willingly making the choice to calm down in our arms (rather than raging against being held against her will) and making long eye contact and smiling after she calms!! This is a huge blessing and something we have been praying for. (Resisting or disliking being held is one of the signs of a lack of attachment and she definately struggled here.) I cannot tell you how thrilled I am! We received an attachment checklist from our agency and I was encouraged to see the progress from our first days home to today. She is quite responsive to us and is becoming more so every day.
She is also giving and receiving love from her big sister and even starting to from her big brother (when he's not taking her toys). We went to lunch today with THREE of her grandmas and her grandpa and she actually said, "done" when I told her she didn't have to keep eating. Wow, saying no to food is a big one! She no longer displays fear of T-Rex and she cries only seconds when put to bed. My feelings of attachment are much stronger now that I am well, and amazingly, those sessions of holding her through her rage and anger and sweat and tears has drawn her much closer to my heart. I found myself uttering promises to her I couldn't have said two weeks ago.
Yesterday a visitor commented her husband decided against trying to adopt out of the foster system. He was concerned (and with good reason) of what a damaged 2 or 3 year old would be like, the chaos it would create in the family, and whether he would be able to love a child like that in comparison to his bio children. I know I cannot speak to loving a bio child. And adjustments of all kinds are difficult. But, oh, how I wish they would do it. Tears well just thinking about it. The risk IS huge. But the thought of the unknown is worse than the reality...especially the reality after adjustment! There is such a need. No child deserves to be brought up without a family. We've often said if everyone who thought about it did it, we wouldn't have an orphan crisis in our world. Josie just gave me a high five for that line! But we've convinced no one. I would so love to know that this blog of our experience helped an orphan to find family or encouraged someone to support a family trying to adopt. 5.5 million in Africa. 3.5 million in Asia. 1.5 million in Eastern Europe. 400,000 in Latin America. 135,000 in the US.
Thank you for walking through this with us. We have needed your support over these last three years. This chapter is closing. But stay tuned, we hope there will be more to come. Michael still wants that little brother. And when asked if they would rather have help paying for college or bring another little one home from an orphanage, our kids show big hearts. (Okay, and a good measure of ignorance!) Laura F., I don't now about the "100 children legend", but if God provides a way....Let's just say the emboidered picture you brought us from China is on our living room wall as a reminder. We are thinking of Ethiopia. But that would be impossible; another international adoption; no way could we do that. Wait, didn't we say that before?
"But you, O God, do see trouble and grief;
You consider it to take it in hand.
The victim commits himself to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless."
Psalm 10:14
